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Fact of the Week

More Young Couples Commit — To Homeownership Before Marriage

Week of Apr 26, 2013

Time Magazine | Business & Money By Brad Tuttle

First comes love, then comes … mortgage? A new study indicates that young couples in committed relationships have been far more likely than older generations to purchase homes before getting married.

Happily Married Couples Consider Themselves Healthier

Week of Mar 19, 2013

University of Missouri study

Research shows that married people have better mental and physical health than their unmarried peers and are less likely to develop chronic conditions than their widowed or divorced counterparts reports Science Daily. A University of Missouri expert says that people who have happy marriages are more likely to rate their health as better as they age; aging adults whose physical health is declining could especially benefit from improving their marriages.

When One Partner Is Overweight

Week of Jan 28, 2013

Resolving Conflict in the Relationship Takes Two

Mixed-weight couples, where one partner is overweight and the other one isn't, have more relationship conflict, including arguments and feelings of anger and resentfulness, than same-weight couples, according to a study by researchers at the University of Puget Sound, in Tacoma, Wash., and the University of Arizona, in Tucson, published last month in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Full text PDF available here.

Read Elizabeth Bernstein's Wall Street Journal article here.

That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work

Week of Jan 16, 2013

1/14/2013 New York Times Personal Health Blog

In her new book, “The Myths of Happiness,” Dr. Lyubomirsky describes a slew of research-tested actions and words that can do wonders to keep love alive. Read More.

Does wedded bliss have a limited shelf life?

Week of Dec 03, 2012

American and European researchers tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over the course of 15 years.

The findings were clear: newlyweds enjoy a big happiness boost that lasts, on average, for just two years. Then the special joy wears off and they are back where they started, at least in terms of happiness. The findings, from a 2003 study, have been confirmed by several recent studies.

The realization that your marriage no longer supplies the charge it formerly did is then an invitation: eschew predictability in favor of discovery, novelty and opportunities for unpredictable pleasure. “A relationship,” Woody Allen proclaimed in his film “Annie Hall,” “is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” A marriage is likely to change shape multiple times over the course of its lifetime; it must be continually rebuilt if it is to thrive.

The good news is that taking the long view on marriage and putting in the hard work has calculable benefits. Research shows that marital happiness reaches one of its highest peaks during the period after offspring have moved out of the family home.

Read more at Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside's OpEd piece in the New York Times.

Do Men and Women Show Love Differently in Marriage?

Week of Aug 30, 2012

Findings indicate that men and women show their love in more nuanced ways than cultural stereotypes suggest.

In Western societies, women are considered more adept than men at expressing love in romantic relationships. Although scholars have argued that this view of love gives short shrift to men’s ways of showing love the widely embraced premise that men and women “love differently” has rarely been examined empirically. Using data collected at four time points over 13 years of marriage, the authors examined whether love is associated with different behaviors for husbands and wives. Multilevel analyses revealed that, counter to theoretical expectations, both genders were equally likely to show love through affection. But whereas wives expressed love by enacting fewer negative or antagonistic behaviors, husbands showed love by initiating sex, sharing leisure activities, and doing household work together with their wives. Overall, the findings indicate that men and women show their love in more nuanced ways than cultural stereotypes suggest (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin). Read More

Most US young adults expect marriage to last a lifetime

Week of Aug 23, 2012

In an age of short-lived celebrity marriages, widespread divorce, babies being born outside of marriage, and the ever-popular “hooking up,” young people are remarkably traditional about their expectations for love, marriage and children—for both themselves and society at large, according to a new Clark University Poll of Emerging Adults.

The poll, directed by Clark psychology professor Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, reports that 86 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds surveyed nationwide expect to have a marriage that will last a lifetime. Read More.

Should you share a bed?

Week of Aug 16, 2012

Couples who sleep apart are healthier, have happier marriages and strong sex lives says a well-regarded sleep researcher at the University of Surrey.

Couples who sleep apart are healthier, have happier marriages and strong sex lives says a well-regarded sleep researcher at the University of Surrey. Read more.

The Financial Trifecta

Week of Aug 10, 2012

The Financial Trifecta

Charlie Michaels and Mike Brown, authors of "Mastering Marriage," suggest that couples need to agree on the following three issues: 1) spending philosophy-what merits a credit card or is "cash only;" 2) Long term financial goals-spouses need to be on the same page about where their financial future is headed; and 3) spending priorities-determining what comes first. Couples who can come to a consensus on these three issues are well on their way. Read More.

“Trust is like Jell-O”

Week of May 14, 2012

People enact their own brands of trust in relationships that may be distinct from the attitudes about trust that they espouse in public arenas

Ultimately, the goal of promoting marriage among the poor and near-poor may be better served by urging them to take their time forming partnerships and to carefully examine how suitable their prospective partners are for lasting intimate relationships. By doing so, they could make better judgments about trustworthiness and choose partners who were indeed worthy candidates for marriage. The problem, in other words, is not just getting women to start trusting men; rather, the problem also is getting them to stop trusting men in ways that are not conducive to stable partnerships and to start using trust in ways that are more likely to lead to lasting, healthy unions.

Read more of this study by Linda M. Burton, Ph.D., James B. Duke Professor of Sociology, Duke University, and Andrew J. Cherlin, Ph.D., Benjamin H. Griswold III Professor of Sociology and Public Policy, Department of Sociology, Johns Hopkins University.

When new parents bicker, kids suffer later

Week of Apr 18, 2012

The level of aggression between partners around the time a baby is born affects how the mother will parent three years later, research shows.

“We have long been aware that high levels of family conflict can have a negative effect on children’s development, but most people tend to think that this doesn’t apply to babies,” says Philip A. Fisher, a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon and scientist at the independent, non-profit Oregon Social Learning Center.

“In fact, we are now finding that this notion of toxic stress in families applies to babies as well. We are finding that people should mind their relationships with their spouses, not just with their babies.”

Follow this link for press release and access to the study published in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Eye of the Beholder

Week of Mar 19, 2012

Men like to know when their wife or girlfriend is happy while women really want the man in their life to know when they are upset, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.

The study involved a diverse sample of couples and found that men's and women's perceptions of their significant other's empathy, and their abilities to tell when the other is happy or upset, are linked to relationship satisfaction in distinctive ways, according to the article published online in the Journal of Family Psychology. Read a summary at Science Daily.

Younger couples more stressed about divorce

Week of Mar 12, 2012

Divorce at a younger age hurts people’s health more than divorce later in life, researchers have found. Michigan State University sociologist Hui Liu says the findings, which appear in the journal Social Science & Medicine, suggest older people have more coping skills to deal with the stress of divorce.

“It’s clear to me that we need more social and family support for the younger divorced groups,” says Liu, assistant professor of sociology. “This could include divorce counseling to help people handle the stress, or offering martial therapy or prevention programs to maintain marital satisfaction.” Read more.

In Sickness and In Health

Week of Mar 06, 2012

Study documents the importance of supportive spouses in coping with work-related stress

A new study conducted by Wayne Hochwarter, the Jim Moran Professor of Business Administration in the Florida State University College of Business, examines the role of support in households where daily stress is common to both spouses. Read more.

Childbearing Outside of Marriage

Week of Feb 22, 2012

It used to be called illegitimacy. Now it is the new normal. After steadily rising for five decades, the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage.

According to a Child Trends Research Brief having children outside of marriage—nonmarital childbearing—has been on the rise across several decades in the United States. In 2009, 41 percent of all births (about 1.7 million) occurred outside of marriage, compared with 28 percent of all births in 1990 and just 11 percent of all births in 1970. Preliminary data suggest that this percentage has remained stable in 2010. There are several reasons to be concerned about the high level of nonmarital childbearing. Couples who have children outside of marriage are younger, less healthy, and less educated than are married couples who have children. Children born outside of marriage tend to grow up with limited financial resources; to have less stability in their lives because their parents are more likely to split up and form new unions; and to have cognitive and behavioral problems, such as aggression and depression.Indeed, concerns about the consequences of nonmarital childbearing helped motivate the major reform of welfare that occurred in 1996, and continue to motivate the development of federally funded pregnancy prevention programs among teenagers and marriage promotion programs among adults. Read More.

How Military Deployment Can Impact the Children of Soldiers

Week of Feb 13, 2012

When parents return from military deployment it not only affects how they cope, but it also impacts their relationship with their children. One study hopes to reduce these unique challenges. Providing many tools including role playing to learn effective parenting techniques, there are workshops established to help soldiers reduce conflict and deal with the stress they and their children may be under after a long deployment.

How Well Do You Fight as a Couple?

Week of Feb 06, 2012

Do you know what kind of a fighter you are with your spouse? Well, you may want to learn, and change it, if it’s bad for your marriage. If you withdraw from your partner during a fight, this can be problematic for your marriage’s future. Also, no matter how constructive YOU are, if your spouse doesn’t reciprocate, this can also lead to problems.

Husbands Doing More Chores Get More Benefits

Week of Jan 30, 2012

So what makes for a happy marriage? The answer in order of most importance is the following: Faithful spouses, satisfying sexual relations, and the sharing of chores. It turns out ignoring her request to help out with the dishes is more damaging then once thought. According to a recent Pew Research Center Survey, sharing chores is vital to a healthy marriage, ranked only below fidelity and a healthy sex life.

Birth Rates Drop in Florida… What does this mean?

Week of Jan 23, 2012

A report shows that teen birth rates have dropped in Florida, but is this a blip or a trend? For every 1,000 teenagers in Florida, there were 5 fewer births in 2009 compared to 2007. This could be good news, as the social costs of teenage mothers are extremely high.

The Sleepy Side of Marriage

Week of Jan 09, 2012

What does sleep have to do with marriage? Like so many other parts of married life, sleep is definitely in need of adjustments. Is it common for newlyweds to feel day-time lethargy? Yes, and there are many other sleep challenges married couples face including snoring, whether or not to cuddle, and even mattress firmness. Although they may seem like trivial challenges, these lead to marital strains and other stress.

An Economic Spin On Marriage

Week of Jan 02, 2012

Marriage is like a business. Perhaps it’s time to learn how to make your business thrive rather than taking it to the verge of bankruptcy. According to the authors of Spousonomics, we already know the “lovey-dovey” side of our marriage, but now it is time to figure out the mechanical parts.

Taking Depression Seriously in Marriages

Week of Dec 26, 2011

If you (or your partner) are feeling symptoms of depression, get help! This help may not only keep you healthy and happy, but it may also do the same for your partner. A new study is showing how married partners, particularly older adults, share many things in common beyond their love, home, and memories. Depressive symptoms in one spouse are also quite often observed in the other partner. Read more of this WebMD article describing why these issues are more a family’s challenge instead of an individual’s.

A Look at Marriage Across Decades

Week of Dec 12, 2011

Marriage in our 20s is definitely different than marriage in our 30s. Each new decade of our marital relationships bring unique challenges, life circumstances, and, of course, life experiences. Being aware of some of these challenges may help us to better deal with them.

Relationship Termites?

Week of Dec 07, 2011

Do you find yourself being too sarcastic with your spouse, or are you arguing too much? These can slowly but certainly erode at the structure of a marriage. Have you ever seen what termites can do to a house’s structure? It can be quite devastating, and it usually sneaks up on the homeowner if he or she doesn’t regularly check for and prevent them. That same principle applies as a metaphor to the structure of a marriage.

Reducing Money-Fights

Week of Nov 30, 2011

Appreciating where each partner’s attitude towards money comes from can help to reduce fights about money when disagreements do arrive. Here are some tips that may save your marriage from stress and conflict.

Unfortunately, a great marriage can go south when financial problems arise. Whether or not to buy an annuity, how much to invest in bonds, and where to find the money for home repairs doesn’t exactly sound like sweetheart talk. But on the other hand, reaching common ground on family money matters can improve matrimonial happiness and stability.

How Pets are Good for Marriages

Week of Nov 10, 2011

A study conducted at the State University of New York at Buffalo said married couples with pets have lower heart rates and blood pressure than those without pets. Pets add structure to life by providing something to care for, feed, take to the vet, clean the cage, change the water, empty litter, take for walks and pick up poop. What fun! The plus side of all that structure is pets stimulate conversation.

Social Networking Can Help Grandma Find a Date

Week of Oct 31, 2011

You remember the embarrassment felt the first time your mother commented on your status update? It turns out Grandma may be making comments as well, but don’t worry! She may be too busy finding romance for herself.

Older generations are using Facebook and other social networking sites for various reasons including connecting with extended family, doing family history research, and yes… dating.

Recognizing the Gender “Apology Gap”

Week of Oct 24, 2011

Saying, “I’m sorry” is not an easy thing to do, but it tends to be easier for women than men. Are women too sensitive or men not sensitive enough? The answer is found somewhere in the middle.

It’s not that women are too sensitive as to whether or not they offended someone leading to them apologizing more. It’s that women are more sensitive than men to potential offenses so they are more willing to say they’re sorry. Also, men may find themselves apologizing, but not know what they did wrong.

Divorces Increasing for the 50+ Crowd

Week of Oct 17, 2011

Perhaps the rise in divorces among those 50 years or older should remind us all to either reconnect or stay connected with our partner. These connections need to be maintained both emotionally and sexually.

With a rise in divorces among married couples older than fifty, there then comes the list of potential reasons for this increase including lack of sexual intimacy at this age, lack of love, and lack of commitment. Many even found it difficult to share things with their partners.

Love May Make You Increasingly Ignorant of Your Partner

Week of Oct 10, 2011

If you can’t remember your partner's favorite movie, food, or color scheme for the living room this could actually be an indicator of marital longevity.

Couples whose marriages averaged 40 years tended to know less about each partners’ favorites when compared to couples who have been together for 2 years or so. This could mean a number of things including differences in marital expectations today versus forty-years ago.

Love as a Pain Reliever

Week of Oct 03, 2011

Have a headache? Perhaps a hug and kiss from your spouse is just what the doctor ordered.

Couples in a lab felt less pain when they were either distracted by a mental task or shown a picture of their romantic partner. The funny thing is that when partners saw the picture of their loved one, it activated the reward center part of their brains. This part of the brain is related to urges and cravings.